Vol. 31, No. 1 January, 2007
MAKING MUCH OF MARRIAGE
By Pastor George Mills
I cannot take full credit for all of the ideas that I will have in this lesson. I have a folder full of notes, outlines, sermons, lesson series, etc, that I have collected through the years of Ministry. Also, I have a lot of information from personal experience. On July 31, 2004, Mrs. Mills and I celebrated our first 50 years together on our journey to forever. On July 31, 2004, we were traveling together. We turned off Interstate 95 and went into the town of Kingsland Georgia. We located the home of the Justice of the Peace who married us on July 31, 1954, for the great sum of $15.00. We thanked our God for His hand upon us for all these years together. I well recall that day in 1954. My Bride was the most beautiful 15-year-old girl you could ever imagine, (still is). I love, I adore my wife who has been my constant companion, friend, counselor, and the Mother of our children. No family has ever had a more blessed Wife and Mother. So, between the dates of July 31, 1954 and July 31, 2004 and beyond I have learned much about Marriage, and I am still learning. Perhaps I have mostly Learned what NOT to do. Two things lie heavy upon my heart today.
First, the issue of the Bible. When I started in the Ministry years ago, there was no issue. We had our King James Bible. But then they began to teach us that the Bible has serious errors in it. I believe in the Purity, and Preservation of the Word of God. As I read about those dear saints who were burned alive in trying to get the Bible to us, I just have to dedicate myself to the same thing they fought for.
Secondly, I do not believe that there is any greater issue before us today than the issue of Marriage and the Home. We are concerned about every American family. This is a vast subject. As I write this I have no idea just how far I can go with it in this issue of the WILDERNESS. Perhaps I can continue in the February edition.
May I say first that I write this from the Biblical point of view, or, the Christian Marriage. Most of what I have to say will NOT be “politically correct” but it will be Biblically correct.
1. MAKING THE MARRIAGE. By “making the marriage” I mean everything before the Marriage. We MUST have certain things in place for the making of a marriage.
First of all, God said, “It is notgood that man should be alone. I will make an help meet for him.”(Gen 2:18) “Therefore shall a man leave his Father and his Mother, and shall cleave unto his Wife, and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen 2:24). God ordained marriage. Humanly speaking, this is life’s closest, and longest lasting relationship. The Making of the Marriage should take into consideration this great truth just mentioned.
(A) DON’T MIX THE MARRIAGE. As I have stated I am speaking about a Christian Marriage. As a Christian DO NOT consider mixing your marriage with an unsaved partner. As a Christian you should not even consider even dating an unsaved person of the opposite sex. As a Pastor, I believe that I have heard all of the excuses given as to why he, or she would marry one who is not saved. “Oh, I can win him/her to Christ after we are married.” That sounds good, but it seldom works. The Bible (KJV) says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness, and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2Cor 6:14). You cannot get much more unequally yoked as you would be when you marry an unsaved person. Christian young person, please heed these things. Be careful. Marriage is a lifetime Today, there is much discussion about same sex marriage.”THERE IS NO SUCH THING. If one has trouble believing what the Bible says about that, just have them look at the animal kingdom. Nature itself, along with common sense, and the make-up of the human anatomy all say that there is no such thing as “same sex marriage.”
(B) DON’T MARR THE MARRIAGE. I am well aware of the fact that this is 2007 and not the dark ages, but fornication is still SIN. Fornication is a big word that includes all sexual sins. Fornication would include sexual relations of unmarried couples. IT’S STILL WRONG! Living together without being married is STILL SIN. If you are living with someone, and having sexual relations with someone to whom you are not united with in Christian Marriage, GET OUT OF IT NOW! Again, I have heard the excuses, or reasons. “We want to see if we are compatible.” Don’t lie to yourself. “Oh, he is such a popular guy. He is tall, and has curly hair, if I don’t go to bed with him, I will lose him.” LET HIM GO! If he has no respect for you now, and he has no respect for you if he asks you to give yourself to him, he will have less respect for you afterwards. TRUST, which is such a vital part of Marriage is forever gone, if you take that route. Remember young girls, God’s best for you may not include that one who is tall with curly hair, but he will be God’s best for you. Remember young men, God’s best for you may not be the campus queen, but she will be God’s best for you. YOUNG GIRL, keep your virtue. Keep yourself for your husband. YOUNG MAN, keep your virtue. Keep yourself for your wife. Keep your character. Remember this, LUST can turn to HATE in less than five minutes. Just read the Biblical account in 2Samuel 13:1-15. Keep yourself for the mate God has for you.
(C) DON’T MINGLE THE MARRIAGE. Get your training for Marriage from God. Don’t listen to the philosophy of today. Just look around you. Look at the condition of homes and marriages today. This is NOT working. Well over 50% of marriages fail. If that figure is broken down into various groups, over 70% of marriages fail because people are sold on the philosophy of today. Read what the Bible (KJV) says about marriage. Read good books by good Christian authors about marriage. The philosophy of today is “Try it, and if you don’t like it, you can always get a divorce.” Sounds easy, but it is just not that way. We spend many years educating ourselves for a career, and spend absolutely no time in educating ourselves about marriage. Make preparations for marriage, but don’t MINGLE the world’s philosophy with Christian marriage. Young person, I hope God’s best for you. Make sure that God has led you to that one with whom you are to spend your life. There is a wonderful life ahead of you if you will take God’s route.
2. MANAGING THE MARRIAGE.
Begin your marriage with God, your commitment to Him and to His Word.
Someone has to be in charge. We cannot go in different directions at the same time. Now, God has Divine order about everything He created. Creation works because of Divine order. The seasons, the tides, the animal kingdom, the skies, the planets in proper orbit, all working because of Divine order. God?s first institution on earth is the establishment of marriage and the home. Let’s see some of God’s order about the home.
(A) GOD. We submit ourselves to God and His Word.
B) MAN. ‘Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it.” (Eph 5:25).
(C) WOMAN. “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.? (Eph 5:22) Now, listen carefully, if the wife refuses to submit herself in obedience to God, everything fails. If the wife does not, the children will not. But if the wife says, “Now children, let’s all obey what Dad says,” everything works.
(D) CHILDREN. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honour thy father and mother which is the first commandment with promise.”
Please read all of Ephesians 5-6. Notice that there is a mutual submission to each other. What the Bible says about the Wife, He says the same about the Husband. Submitting ourselves to each other, becoming one in the Lord.
3. MAINTAINING THE MARRIAGE.
Anything that works has to be properly maintained. May I offer some suggestions for the Husband, and the Wife to carefully maintain?
(A) HUSBAND. The Husband is to be the Spiritual leader in the home. Husband, Love your wife. Honor your Wife. Let her know that you love her, let her know that she is very special to you. Keep your relationship with her very special. Remember, we are to love our wife as Christ loved the Church. That is a self-sacrificing, unconditional love.It is the Husband’s responsibility to lead the family in Spiritual things, to pray with the family, to read the Bible (KJV) to the family, to lead the family to public worship services.
It is the Husband’s responsibility to provide housing, clothing, and food for the family. “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Jos 24:15)
Let every husband do his part in MAINTAINING the sanctity and dignity of his home.
(B) THE WIFE. A Christian Wife is God’s Great gift to the family. She is an Angel in the sick room, a magic chef in her kitchen, and a Queen in her parlor. Just be the sweet partner in your relationship with your husband, and watch him melt before your eyes. And remember, when you fulfill your roll as a sweet, submissive wife, you are simply doing what the Bible tells you to do. I know that in today’s society, many Mothers have to work a secular job and then do home work. But if at all possible, let Mom stay at home. Today’s children need that security. I am also aware that many Mothers have been abandoned and the responsibility for the care of home and children rests upon her shoulders entirely. Some single parents do a fantastic job. I have no kind regard or respect for a ‘man’ who abandons his family.
As I have stated, I have so much to say I do not know where to go next?
4. MANAGING THE MONEY. Here is another sore spot. This is where so many of our homes fail. Poor financial management, and planning means disaster ahead. Young couples start out today, and want to start at the top. “We simply MUST have a new home, a new car, a new boat, a new motorcycle, new furniture.” Credit soars. Credit cards maxed out. Second mortgages. And then children come along. The family is in above their head, and troubles. Time and time again have I seen this situation everywhere I have been. In today’s housing market, there is a ready list of older homes for sale. Homes of a lesser value that a young family can purchase, and begin to fix it up nice. You would not be in debt. You will be investing in property, and if you choose to do so, in a few years you can sell for much more than you paid, and go for another home. As a starter, you can find excellent used furniture at reasonable cost. I have told many a young couple that I had rather have my own place that I can afford, and use a box for my table and sit on the floor than to be a slave to a mortgage company for forty years. MANAGE YOUR MONEY.
Every family should have a budget, and stick with that budget. Both husband and wife should know all about the family finances. There should be no secrets. The family budget should begin with God. “Upon the first day of the week, let every one of you lay by him in store as God has prospered him.” The second thing in the family budget is a savings plan. Check with your bank. There are all kinds of IRA, savings, etc. But you must save a certain amount every payday. If only a dollar, so be it. But the years go by so swiftly. A few dollars saved now will begin to add up in time. We are to prepare a future for our family. We should have adequate life insurance policy, and health insurance for our family. When our children were home, my wife had her Day Care in our home where she cared for children of working Mothers, all to help support the family. The Churches I Pastored were small churches and could not pay very much, so I too worked to add to the family budget. I worked as a Policeman. I was with three different Police Departments. I have policed the city on Saturday night and preached on Sunday morning. We had to MANAGE OUR MONEY. And we made it.
5. MANAGING THE MAVERICKS. I know that sometimes they act like little “mavericks” but they are God’s great gifts, (Psa 127). Today’s children face things in society that we never heard of when we were in school. Our homes should be a place of security for our Children. Some homes are more like institutions. Children were not born knowing things. They have to learn, and they will learn. They should learn from their parents. We should be both PARENT and PAL to our children, and there is a place for both. The great and growing problem in America today is the problem of child abuse. This comes in several ways.
VERBAL ABUSE. You know; “You’re no good” “you’ll wind up in prison” “you can’t” “you’re always wrong.” The list goes on. A Child should hear every day something like, “I am proud of you. I am glad that you are mine. You can do anything you try. You’re special. I love you,” etc.
PHYSICAL ABUSE. Many children across this land are beaten, tied, flogged, burned. Again, this list goes on. I have no regard or respect for anyone who would physically abuse a child. I know that they need discipline, but there is a proper way for that. This too is a sad truth that many of the Child abusers say that they were in like manner treated when they were children. Never abuse your child.
SEXUAL ABUSE. I cannot imagine such a thing, but it happens every day. Just read your paper. I am at a loss of words here. Protect your child. A child has no one else to turn to.
I am proud of my home. I love my home. My wife worked very hard in keeping our home a clean, warm, loving place. She was always at home. We planned it that way. Our children did not know what it was to wear soiled clothes. They had hot delicious meals. I remember with fondness the evening meals. We all sat around the table and feasted on my wife’s delicious cooking. We all ate together. We would talk about the events of the day. That was always a special, sweet time as we laughed and talked together at suppertime. CHILD ABUSE?Never! We had our rules. Everyone knew what was expected of them. We did not raise “spoiled brats” When we visited someone’s home with our children, they did not disturb or meddle with things there. When we ate out, (Burger King, etc) they did not wreck the place. They knew how to behave. Our children were protected, as children should be protected. Their Mother knew all about them, where they were, and how they were, at all times. Our children never went without. They had everything other kids had, but no more. They may not have had the best, but they had the best care. A sweet loving home is the answer to child abuse. Our home was, and is, a place of sweetness.
6. MENDING THE MARRIAGE. Anything not maintained needs mending. Sometimes things break down. We have mentioned CHILD ABUSE, another thing is SPOUSAL ABUSE. Again, this should never be. I have no respect for any “man” who would abuse his family. A man is to love his wife, to be kind and tender to his wife and children. A MARRIAGE CAN BE MENDED if you try. DIVORCE is a common word today. Some enter marriage with the thinking, “If this doesn’t work, we can always DIVORCE.” That is not the answer. There are only two Biblical grounds that end marriage, (1) Fornication, Mt. 19:9. (2) Death, Ro. 7. Divorce is not the answer. Someone said to me, “You can get over the death of a loved one, God made things so you can, but a divorce is forever.” You can work things out if you try. With Faith in God, forgiveness, Praying together, determination to change yourself instead of trying to change your mate, and letting the past go. Whatever is back there, forgive, let it go, and with Faith, go forward, and build your life anew.
7. THE MARVEL OF MARRIAGE. A happy, loving marriage is the closest thing to Heaven on earth. It gives us a picture of Christ and His Church. Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it. We are His Bride. He is preparing a place for us in Heaven, and He is coming again for us. Soon, we will meet Him at the MARRIAGE SUPPER OF THE LAMB.
I hope and trust that I will meet you there at that great event. I will meet you, if you have received Christ as your Saviour. If you have not done that I hope that you will do that right now. The Bible says, “But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of god, even to them that believe on His Name.” “How do I receive Him?” The Bible says, “Ask, and ye shall receive.” Ask Him to cleanse you from all sin, and to give you a new heart. He will. Then and only then will you be ready for the GREAT MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN, and a GREAT MARRIAGE ON EARTH. May God bless our homes!
THINGS GOD DOES NOT KNOW
By Pastor George Mills
“O Lord Thou hast searched me and known me.” (Ps 139).
God does not know of a single sin,
That once was in my past,
But that He cleansed when He came in,
And in the depths of the sea He did cast.
God does not know of a single prayer,
That He cannot answer at last,
He knows all about our deepest care,
And He answers the prayers that we ask.
God does not know of a hurting life,
That He cannot comfort and ease,
He is able to free from trouble and strife,
And to cause all the hurting to cease.
God does not know of a sinner so low,
Who is beyond the reach of His Love,
He is able to the depths of depravity go,
And prepare one for Heaven above.
God does not know of a saint with care,
Who is forsaken and all alone,
But that He knows and hears each prayer,
And He will call when life’s work is done.
God does not know of a single Word,
In the Bible, that He can change,
Forever ’tis settled, the sweetest I’ve heard,
Let His Word, your life re-arrange.
THINK ABOUT IT..Since God knows, does it matter what some may THINK?
FOR THE NEW YEAR
By Pastor George Mills
“That ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain.” (John 15:16)
It is God’s Will that we bear fruit for His Glory. This is the single purpose of this Ministry. Let us look at just a few things from the 15th Chapter of the Gospel of John.
1. THE CALL. V1-3. Christ and His band of Disciples have left the upper room and are on their way to Gethsemane. As they stroll along they probably passed several vineyards. Jesus uses these vineyards to illustrate His calling for them, and for us today
2. THE CONDITIONS. In order for us to be fruitful, we must meet certain conditions.
(A) Our relationship with Christ must be right. Christ uses the word ABIDE over and over again. To Abide means to Live in His Word, v7. To Abide means to keep His commandments, v10. To Abide means to keep our life clean, v3-4. To Abide means that there is nothing between my soul and the Saviour. Our love and devotion for Him and His work must be pure. As the old Hymn writer wrote,
Nothing between my soul and the
So that His Blessed Face can be seen,
Nothing preventing the least of His
Jesus is mine, there?s nothing
(B) Our relationship with other believers is right. (v12-17).
“These things I command you that ye love one another.” Someone has rightly named this as the 11th commandment. Currently, we are in a series of messages from the Book of First Corinthians. The Church at Corinth had everything needed in order to be an influence for God in that society. They had gifts in abundance. They had everything but love for one another. Paul had to write a sharp letter of rebuke. Nothing can stop a Church that loves Jesus, and loves one another.
(C) Our relationship with the world is right. V18-27. After He spoke about love, He warned about the world. He reminded them that the world hated Him, and that the world will hate His followers. The WORLD, meaning, the system, or attitude, or philosophy of this world in which we live is Antichrist, Anti-God, and Anti-Bible. We sound the warning in every edition of this Publication; “AND THE WORLD IS A WILDERNESS” it is no friend to the Christian.” We sound that warning again today.
3. THE CERTAINTIES. The result of abiding in Him will be fruit. He mentioned FRUIT, more FRUIT, and much FRUIT. Just what kind of fruit? Let me mention two kinds..
(A) Christian Character. See Gal. 5:22-26. Today, there is much to say about the GIFTS of the Spirit, but not much to say about the GRACES of the Spirit. These lovely fruit should be abundant in the life of every believer
(B) Christian Converts. Someone has rightly said that the fruit of a convert is another convert. It should be that way. In Romans 1:13, Paul looks toward Rome and speaks of his desire to have some fruit (souls saved) when he arrives there. The only purpose Christ has left us here is that we win the lost, that we get the Gospel of Grace to the ends of the earth, to every corner. I need you, we need each other. Let us bind our hearts together in prayer and determination that in this year we will do more than ever to win as many as we can, while we can.
PICTURE A FRUIT TREE JUST LADEN WITH FRUIT. THE BRANCHES ARE BENT LOW. FRUIT IS EVERYWHERE. MY, WHAT A LOVELY SIGHT. THAT’S THE WAY OUR LIVES SHOULD BE.
Your kind and generous support through this past year has been a continual blessing. Thank you so very much for each thing you do. For your prayers, gifts, calls, letters, and words of encouragement, without which we could do nothing. Thanks.